Friday, July 27, 2012
I'm back!
I know it's a been awhile since my last real post. To be honest I have been a little down lately. Traveling solo is a great and rewarding experience but it's also not easy. Add to the inherent difficulties being siCk makes it even tougher, especially mentally. The last 5 days or so I have been really weak and achy in my joints. Yesterday being my lowest point both psychologically and physically. The unknown is great but also not knowing where you will be sleeping every night is hard. The hunt for a place to stay and for optimal activities can be mentally exhausting. Being homeless is not easy. There are no breaks.
The exciting newness of what I am doing has worn off. It's more real now. This is my life. Homeless and alone. Reality has finally set in. Luckily I expected this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I will of course continue on but that unshakeable childish giddiness I had for the first leg is gone. What I feel now is more real, more raw, more solemn. I realize now that this is not just something to be enjoyed but something to endure. It is Something to overcome.
I have a wonderful family back home and I miss them. It's hard at times knowing I could be with them. I could be making their day. I could be giving them happiness with just with my presence but instead I just abandoned them. I left those who I love and those who love me the most. What I am doing is not just awesome sight seeing and adventures it is also extremely selfish. It's hardest when I think about my grandpa and I often do. The lakes, the fishing, the trees of New England all remind me of when I was a kid and would go up to Idaho to see him during the summer. I wish I could be with him now. I sometimes wish I had stayed home and spent all my time with him. Me and my grandpa just living the retired life together :). I want him here. I want to be in that canoe again just him and me, floating down a mountain river like we have so many times. Never having to assure each other that we are enjoying the trip, or say something is beautiful, because we both know that we see the world through the same eyes. I miss him, I miss that better part of me. The me that doesn't have to explain or justify myself. When I am with him I can finally let go. I know that I am with someone who knows what I know and sees what I see.
I have seen 4 new states since my last post and have been to Boston. I'll tell those tales someday but for now I needed to vent. I needed to let someone know that it's not all sunshine and rainbows out here. That it's hard. That it's a challenge. I am not whining, however. I embrace the adventures maturation and am excited for what this next stage will bring. Its going to be more real, more rewarding and yes it will be hard. But We do things because they are hard. Because doing hard things brings growth and defines life from the ease that is death and staleness.
I now know that i have to go harder. I need to accomplish more and bigger things. I am hungrier now, I simply am no longer satisfied with what i have been doing. I need to make sure that I make this worth the sacrifice each day. Make sure that this is worth my families void I left behind. Leave no doubt that each day is worth it. It will be hard but as always I will not go quietly into the night.
Sent from my iPhone
The exciting newness of what I am doing has worn off. It's more real now. This is my life. Homeless and alone. Reality has finally set in. Luckily I expected this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I will of course continue on but that unshakeable childish giddiness I had for the first leg is gone. What I feel now is more real, more raw, more solemn. I realize now that this is not just something to be enjoyed but something to endure. It is Something to overcome.
I have a wonderful family back home and I miss them. It's hard at times knowing I could be with them. I could be making their day. I could be giving them happiness with just with my presence but instead I just abandoned them. I left those who I love and those who love me the most. What I am doing is not just awesome sight seeing and adventures it is also extremely selfish. It's hardest when I think about my grandpa and I often do. The lakes, the fishing, the trees of New England all remind me of when I was a kid and would go up to Idaho to see him during the summer. I wish I could be with him now. I sometimes wish I had stayed home and spent all my time with him. Me and my grandpa just living the retired life together :). I want him here. I want to be in that canoe again just him and me, floating down a mountain river like we have so many times. Never having to assure each other that we are enjoying the trip, or say something is beautiful, because we both know that we see the world through the same eyes. I miss him, I miss that better part of me. The me that doesn't have to explain or justify myself. When I am with him I can finally let go. I know that I am with someone who knows what I know and sees what I see.
I have seen 4 new states since my last post and have been to Boston. I'll tell those tales someday but for now I needed to vent. I needed to let someone know that it's not all sunshine and rainbows out here. That it's hard. That it's a challenge. I am not whining, however. I embrace the adventures maturation and am excited for what this next stage will bring. Its going to be more real, more rewarding and yes it will be hard. But We do things because they are hard. Because doing hard things brings growth and defines life from the ease that is death and staleness.
I now know that i have to go harder. I need to accomplish more and bigger things. I am hungrier now, I simply am no longer satisfied with what i have been doing. I need to make sure that I make this worth the sacrifice each day. Make sure that this is worth my families void I left behind. Leave no doubt that each day is worth it. It will be hard but as always I will not go quietly into the night.
Sent from my iPhone
Test
I have sent two heavy post from my phone and they disappeared. Extremely frustrating. So this is a Ted
Sent from my iPhone
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Mistakes were made
I messed up. I am sometimes an idiot and think I can get myself out of ANY situation. Because of this I don't plan very much, hell today I didn't hardly plan at all. I guess some sick underlying part of me likes the challenge of having to adapt to an unideal situation and inhibits my ability to even plan if I want too. Did I mention sometimes I'm a complete idiot?
Today I just went where the road took me. The road gods took me to Nucomb, NY where I had some nice conversations with some locals about where I could bike in to camp. They were extremely helpful and told me Santanoni was the only place around but it was a good 5 mile bike ride in and they said the lake was beautiful... No one mentioned the weather.
It was looking a little stormy and afternoon showers had been the norm. Besides this I loaded up and headed out on the trail. Right when I headed out a girl comes out of no where behind me and says it looks like its going to storm. "Yip" I said, "but if it's anything like the last few days it'll blow over and I should beat it in too set up camp." Apparently at some point I decided I was a damn meteorologist!
I made it to the lake in no time. It was a smooth closed logging road and I ate it up even with about 35 pounds of gear on. I looked over the lake and immediately thought, "Holy shit!" It looked like a massive grey wall was covering half of the lake. This was no afternoon shower. Temperature dropped 20 degrees in about 20 seconds... I immediately knew shelter was priority one. I ran to the nearest camp site and hurriedly started setting up the tent. I got the tent up and got one clip of the rainfly on when me and the tent went flying. Somehow the tent caught one of the cogs on my bike and took my bike about 5 feet before settling.... I ran over to the tent and unhooked the poles so it would lay flat and flipped it over. That's when tree one went down about 20 feet away. I quickly realized I had to get down and get down now. I raced over to my pack an shoved it under a wooden bridge I had crossed to try and keep it and me dry. The wind was so hard and fast that the waves of the lake and the spray of the water began to threaten to drown me under the bridge. I couldn't stay here. I had to make a run for it. So I ran along the lake until I found some large rocks. Staying dry was impossible but I needed something to protect me from falling trees. And they were coming down... I'm not talking about hearing trees groan or go down in the distance. I am talking about seeing them go down next to me. The scariest were the ones that broke midway up and shattered like some asshole kid had stuck dynamite in a woodpecker hole. Shrapnel became a real concern. Tree burst like in band of brothers I thought and kinda smiled that little smile you do when you know your fucked but you can't help but love the rush. This lasted anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 but it didn't matter this was the longest storm of my life.
It let up enough for me to vacate my foxhole and take inventory. Somehow I had lost nothing. Only thing that saved my tent was that the ring caught the cog otherwise it would be midway up a tree. My pack was wet but could have been wetter. Trees were down all over around my bike but none landed on it. I immediately got naked and and set up my tent taking advantage of the break in wind... I was in all cotton and cotton kills. Surprisingly flipping my tent worked and most of the inside was dry. It started to rain harder so I gathered everything into the freshly set up tent. Everything was moist but my sleeping bag, pad, and change of clothes were just slightly damp. Luckily my change of clothes were wool and nylon. Wool keeps most of its insulating properties even when wet. Thanks land maggots I owe you. When I got in the tent I shook myself off the best I could in the vestibule and changed into my other set of clothes. The rain let up for a little while and I went outside.
It was decision time. Wait it out and see if it clears like a good boy scout or leave your gear take only what you need and make the quick 5 mile bike ride out without gear? Then came back the rain, this time with much more lightening in the distance... Wind had swirled. It was coming back... I didn't know how much time I had but I couldn't move my camp and there were excellent candidates for more tree fall all around. I picked up the bike and decided to take my chances... Without the gear I figured I could make it out in twice the time or even better. The lightning came in hard after about 500 yards of riding but the wind wasn't crazy. That's not to say it wasn't windy.
My smooth logger trail I had come in on had become a nightmare. Downed trees every hundred or so yards had me getting off at a running pace hucking the bike, jumping the tree and hopping back on. The lightning was everywhere and I was racing lightning for what I felt was my life. I went the fastest I ever have on a bike. It was wet and unstable but I couldn't be caught in another wind storm...
I made it to a little cabin/historical relic and am held up here. Have been for a couple hours. The storm came back but this time with an impossible amount of rain and lightning. Never seen anything like it. Less wind though. Giving me some hope I'll have a tent tomorrow when I go back in for my stuff...
I have nothing to sleep in or change into so tonight could be a tough one if this storm doesn't let me out. But I finally know I will be ok.
Looking back now I remember how the girl was out of breath when she talked to me... I remember she said its GOING TO STORM. I NOW realize this wasn't a conversation about the weather but that she had ran up the hill to warn me. I now know, why she looked so confused. I now know that I am a dumbass.
But what a ride it is ;)
Sent from my iPhone
Just a little update on this story the weather let up and I was able to make it to my car. I went to a little diner in town and asked if there were any cabins in town. They said they didn't think there were but they offered me a place in their camping trailer nearby. I gladly took there offer... This trailer was disgusting she said she hadn't had a chance to clean it since they bought it and it showed. It was pretty gross and I will spare the details. I didn't sleep worth a damn but I was dry. Next morning I went into the diner and basically walked into an impromptu town meeting about the storm. I guess a couple buildings were destroyed in the area. Everyone knew who I was and had a good time joking around about me biking off in the middle of a storm like a jackass.
Today I just went where the road took me. The road gods took me to Nucomb, NY where I had some nice conversations with some locals about where I could bike in to camp. They were extremely helpful and told me Santanoni was the only place around but it was a good 5 mile bike ride in and they said the lake was beautiful... No one mentioned the weather.
It was looking a little stormy and afternoon showers had been the norm. Besides this I loaded up and headed out on the trail. Right when I headed out a girl comes out of no where behind me and says it looks like its going to storm. "Yip" I said, "but if it's anything like the last few days it'll blow over and I should beat it in too set up camp." Apparently at some point I decided I was a damn meteorologist!
I made it to the lake in no time. It was a smooth closed logging road and I ate it up even with about 35 pounds of gear on. I looked over the lake and immediately thought, "Holy shit!" It looked like a massive grey wall was covering half of the lake. This was no afternoon shower. Temperature dropped 20 degrees in about 20 seconds... I immediately knew shelter was priority one. I ran to the nearest camp site and hurriedly started setting up the tent. I got the tent up and got one clip of the rainfly on when me and the tent went flying. Somehow the tent caught one of the cogs on my bike and took my bike about 5 feet before settling.... I ran over to the tent and unhooked the poles so it would lay flat and flipped it over. That's when tree one went down about 20 feet away. I quickly realized I had to get down and get down now. I raced over to my pack an shoved it under a wooden bridge I had crossed to try and keep it and me dry. The wind was so hard and fast that the waves of the lake and the spray of the water began to threaten to drown me under the bridge. I couldn't stay here. I had to make a run for it. So I ran along the lake until I found some large rocks. Staying dry was impossible but I needed something to protect me from falling trees. And they were coming down... I'm not talking about hearing trees groan or go down in the distance. I am talking about seeing them go down next to me. The scariest were the ones that broke midway up and shattered like some asshole kid had stuck dynamite in a woodpecker hole. Shrapnel became a real concern. Tree burst like in band of brothers I thought and kinda smiled that little smile you do when you know your fucked but you can't help but love the rush. This lasted anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 but it didn't matter this was the longest storm of my life.
It let up enough for me to vacate my foxhole and take inventory. Somehow I had lost nothing. Only thing that saved my tent was that the ring caught the cog otherwise it would be midway up a tree. My pack was wet but could have been wetter. Trees were down all over around my bike but none landed on it. I immediately got naked and and set up my tent taking advantage of the break in wind... I was in all cotton and cotton kills. Surprisingly flipping my tent worked and most of the inside was dry. It started to rain harder so I gathered everything into the freshly set up tent. Everything was moist but my sleeping bag, pad, and change of clothes were just slightly damp. Luckily my change of clothes were wool and nylon. Wool keeps most of its insulating properties even when wet. Thanks land maggots I owe you. When I got in the tent I shook myself off the best I could in the vestibule and changed into my other set of clothes. The rain let up for a little while and I went outside.
It was decision time. Wait it out and see if it clears like a good boy scout or leave your gear take only what you need and make the quick 5 mile bike ride out without gear? Then came back the rain, this time with much more lightening in the distance... Wind had swirled. It was coming back... I didn't know how much time I had but I couldn't move my camp and there were excellent candidates for more tree fall all around. I picked up the bike and decided to take my chances... Without the gear I figured I could make it out in twice the time or even better. The lightning came in hard after about 500 yards of riding but the wind wasn't crazy. That's not to say it wasn't windy.
My smooth logger trail I had come in on had become a nightmare. Downed trees every hundred or so yards had me getting off at a running pace hucking the bike, jumping the tree and hopping back on. The lightning was everywhere and I was racing lightning for what I felt was my life. I went the fastest I ever have on a bike. It was wet and unstable but I couldn't be caught in another wind storm...
I made it to a little cabin/historical relic and am held up here. Have been for a couple hours. The storm came back but this time with an impossible amount of rain and lightning. Never seen anything like it. Less wind though. Giving me some hope I'll have a tent tomorrow when I go back in for my stuff...
I have nothing to sleep in or change into so tonight could be a tough one if this storm doesn't let me out. But I finally know I will be ok.
Looking back now I remember how the girl was out of breath when she talked to me... I remember she said its GOING TO STORM. I NOW realize this wasn't a conversation about the weather but that she had ran up the hill to warn me. I now know, why she looked so confused. I now know that I am a dumbass.
But what a ride it is ;)
Sent from my iPhone
Just a little update on this story the weather let up and I was able to make it to my car. I went to a little diner in town and asked if there were any cabins in town. They said they didn't think there were but they offered me a place in their camping trailer nearby. I gladly took there offer... This trailer was disgusting she said she hadn't had a chance to clean it since they bought it and it showed. It was pretty gross and I will spare the details. I didn't sleep worth a damn but I was dry. Next morning I went into the diner and basically walked into an impromptu town meeting about the storm. I guess a couple buildings were destroyed in the area. Everyone knew who I was and had a good time joking around about me biking off in the middle of a storm like a jackass.
Monday, July 16, 2012
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